


there's a problem..

by losingallchill



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: CarryOn, Completed, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluffy Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow, M/M, Simon Snow Loves Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch, SnowBaz, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Gay for Simon Snow, carry on, its not angst just two soft boys, not really a oneshot but whatever, short fic, snow baz, sorry i used the wrong tag lmao, you're not allowed to fall in love with me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-27 10:24:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18737152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/losingallchill/pseuds/losingallchill
Summary: just a short fic from the quote,"you're not allowed to fall in love with me""won't be a problem"..."there's a problem"





	1. Chapter 1

“basilton grimm-pitch, what are you doing with your life?” fiona asks, glaring down at me. i shift lazily in my armchair, looking up at her, boredly.  
“what’re you talking about? i’m studying. now shoo-“ i tell her idly, shooing her with a wave of my hand. a piece of hair flops down my face and i push it back up with a finger, tucking it behind my ear.  
“you know what i mean. i mean that you’re really going to stay single forever? you’re going to spend life by yourself, all alone?”  
“look who’s talking. look, i’m fine being alone. better that then randomly dating every single man you meet for three seconds before dumping them for another one.” i retort, closing my book and sitting up. i don’t need a boyfriend- i work best alone anyways. i work best by myself, whatever it was, a school project, my romance life, everything.  
“im beginning to think that you’re not even good at getting anyone-“ fiona taunted, cocking an eyebrow at me. i frown at her, shaking my head.  
“that’s not true, shut it-“  
“prove it then, wuss.”  
i give her a huff, blowing a strand of hair out of my face again. “fine.”

—

i flop on my bed, exhaling deeply. i always love christmas break, because my fucking roommate would leave for his fancy mansion and the room i shared would be just mine for a few days. i lay back with a content sigh, until someone opened the door, startling me out of my wits. i fall off the bed, with a loud groan. “christ man, at least knock first-“ the words die in my throat when i see baz looking down at me on the floor.  
“crikey snow, why are you flopping around on the floor like a fish?” he asked coolly, going over to his side of the room.  
i stand hastily, tripping over my words. “Wh- wait- what’re you doing here-“  
“i’m home early, of course.” he replied, beginning to undo his tie, turning to face me. “and snow, i have a favor to ask you.”  
i shake my head. “whatever it is, no. i don’t want to die tonight thanks.”  
“don’t be dramatic, i’d have a better plan then that-“  
“what?!”  
“anyway, listen snow, shut up for once and help me out. if you do, i won’t tell anyone about the time you got your head stuck in the toilet.”  
i wheeze, hiding my face, “how do i know you haven’t already?”  
“just- my aunt’s getting on my back about me being single, and you’re the only person i can tolerate faking a relationship without it being weird-“ baz breathed in sharply, turning back away from me.  
“you’re gay?”  
“it wasn’t obvious?”

—

snow looked back at me, his head tilted. he reminds me of a puppy sometimes, honestly.  
“that’s not the point snow. the point is, i need you to fake date me in front of my aunt.”  
snow began protesting, throwing his hands in the air. “why me, first of all? second of all, why me? and lastly, why me? we hate each other, in case you forgot-“  
i shake my head. “no i tolerate you-“  
“threatening to kill me is toleration?”  
“yes!”  
snow’s shoulders sagged and he let out a sigh. “fine. but you’re not allowed to fall in love with me-“ he said somewhat seriously.  
i grin back. “won’t be a problem.”

—

i exhale nervously, at the front steps of the pitch mansion. baz looked over at me, and offered a slight grin- it looked more like a smirk but whatever- and nodded. “you’ll be fine snow. just be your normal dumbass self.”  
i frown slightly, and nod back, my leg jiggling. the door opened and i see baz’s father himself. i look over at baz, to see an actual somewhat smile on his face. shocking.  
“hello father- this is my boyfriend, simon snow- i’d like to know where aunt fiona is-“ baz said smoothly to him, without missing a beat.  
mr pitch raised an eyebrow, and let the pair in. “she’s in her chambers i believe-“ he told baz, who was taking off his shoes, and elbowing me to do the same.  
“ow-!”  
“alright, thank you.”  
“dinner will be ready shortly. please escort your..” he looked at me, “guest when the time comes.”  
“will do. thank you.” baz said, firmly, taking me by the hand and leading me up the stairs.

—

“so what exactly are we doing?” snow asked, following me up the stairs. i turn to look at him, a cheeky grin on my face.  
“we spend some time together, i drop some hints around fiona, we spend some more time together, and that’s it, done deal, i win the bet.”  
snow sighed heavily, “let’s just get this over with- where’s your room-“  
“a bit forward there, aren’t we, snow?”  
“oh fuck off-“  
“anything for you snow.” he’s fun to tease, and even more fun to annoy. snow ignores me, and reaches a room which i assume he thinks is mine. “not my room snow.”  
“where is it then? this place is huge-“ he grumbles, holding his hand out to me.  
i stare at it blankly. “what are you doing?”  
“hold my hand. we’re a couple, right?” he asks, wiggling his fingers.  
the blood in my face rises slightly, but i force it down, and just take his hand. “you’re really into this, aren’t you?”  
“i don’t want you to get in trouble with your aunt-“ he mumbles back, trying to open the next door.  
“not my room either-“ i remind him. “it’s three rooms down-“  
he sighs again, and takes me with him on his quest to find my room.

—

i open the door he tells me to open, and finally, i reach his room. my god, how many rooms does this house need? letting go of baz’s hand, i walk around the room, examining it. “nice… gargoyles?”  
baz waves a hand. “i’d remodel but too much work. and i’ve gotten used to them.” he sits on his bed, laying back a bit and shaking his hair out so it fell around his face. damn him, always being perfect and looking great.  
self consciously, i pat my own hair down, frowning slightly.

—

snow reaches a hand into his own hair after watching me open mine with fascination, patting it down. that’s funny. he’s got the weirdest expression on his face, trying to make his hair look presentable. not that it doesn’t, it’s just a wild mass of curls and golden hair. i lift up a strand of my hair and compare it. we really are different. like night and day.

—

baz is watching me play with my hair. is that creepy to anyone else. i give it a final run through before sitting on the edge of baz’s bed, yawning. he watches me for a bit longer, before asking, “are you tired? do you want to stay the night and meet fiona tomorrow?”  
i can’t believe he’s being considerate.  
i give him a yawn in response, before nodding tiredly. “yeah- thanks-“  
he nods, standing. “i can grab you some clothes-“ he mumbles.  
“no- no i’ve slept in worse-“  
“you’re the guest-“ he insists. “and i forced you to come here, so you’re at least allowed to change-“  
he’s being really nice, and it’s throwing me off. “if you insist-“ i reply slowly, taking the clothes he found, and handed out to me. “i’m gonna- change- in your bathroom-“  
he nods, flopping back down on his bed.

—

snow disappears, and i’m left to change as well. i split my bed in half, before beginning to unbutton my shirt and change into new pants. i wore these pants all day and they reek. snow comes back in as soon as i’m done.  
“oh- whoa- sorry-“ he shields his face with his hand, turning an interesting shade of red. “no, i’m done-“ i tell him, sitting down on my side of the bed i split.  
“did you have two beds before?” he asks, confused.  
“no- i split them apart- they’re made like that-“  
he nods, and sits down, making himself comfortable and falling asleep almost immediately.  
i turn off all the lights and look at him in his bed. his statement from before rings in my mind.  
_“you’re not allowed to fall in love with me-“_  
shit.  
there’s a problem snow. i think i might just have.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope fiona isn't ooc wheeze

the next morning, i wake up to baz’s face facing me. blinking, i sit up and yawn, watching him sleep for a bit. in his sleep, he’s strangely peaceful looking. his hair is falling all over his face and i lift my hand to push it out of his face. before i try, he wakes up, and i turn away, heat rising to my face. what am i doing, wanting to push his perfect hair out of his perfect face? he’ll literally bite my hand off if i go near him. he blinks at me, and i tilt my head to stare at him. “so- what’re we doing?” i manage to ask, tripping over my tongue.   
he gives me a lazy grin, burying his face in his pillow. “sleeping. cmere snow, i’m freezing-“  
“what?” is he seriously asking me that? 

—

my face goes red after hearing what i just asked snow. what on earth am i thinking, asking him to warm me up? that sounds like the plot of a bad sitcom. but i can hear him standing and sitting down on my bed, next to me. crikey, this is really happening, isn’t it? i shield my face, and wrap my arms around his back. he yelps, and stiffens up, but quickly relaxes. 

—

my face my face my face oh christ. it’s burning bright red. i don’t know why- it just exploded when baz wrapped his arms around me. i shift until i’m laying next to him, looking directly into his grey eyes. or are they silver? silver-grey? his hair’s all over his face, and this time, i don’t hesitate to push it away. he’s really handsome- but i already knew that- but somehow, he’s gotten more so? 

—

simon fucking snow is lying in bed. next to me. playing with my hair and staring at my eyes. what has this world come to. he’s got such a soft expression on his face and i can’t handle this. him. him. him. him with his golden hair, him with his beautiful just barely blue eyes. was his hair always lighter on the top? did he always have that small mole next to his eye? fuck, i want to kiss it now. fuck fuck fuck-

—

baz’s eyes are closing. i think he’s really that tired. i nudge myself closer, resting my head on his chest and hugging him back, listening to his breath as his arms close tightly around me. fuck, this is nice. this is really nice. baz smells like his shitty cologne, like our room back at school. his shirt is riding low, so i can barely see his chest, and impulsively, i manage to reach up and press a kiss against it. his eyes fly open. “snow. did you just kiss me?” he breathes, looking down at me. “and am i really holding you- and falling asleep?” his grip loosens and i jump away from him, stammering.   
“i-i-i was just- i mean- i was- i was just-“ 

—

snow’s face is bright red, and he can’t seem to look me in the eye. good, because my face is burning bright as well. we’re interrupted by a knock on the door, and i go over and open it, slipping a shirt on in the process, not having buttoned it yet. “yes?”   
“miss pitch requests your presence. both you and mr snow.” i was told by the maid in the door. i nod at her, before closing it and turning to simon.   
“you need new clothes. you’re not dressing up as my boyfriend in those rags of yours.” i tell him, heading to my closet. “i’m sure i’ll find some clothes that are too small-“   
i can hear him grumbling outside, and snicker quietly. he’s entertaining. 

—

if he can pretend like nothing happened, then so can i. after his throwaway comment about how bloody short i am, he heads in his closet, and i’m left to sit on the bed, frowning and mocking him under my breath. “bloody tall ass-“ i frown at the bed.   
“thank you.” baz’s voice startles me, and i jump, almost falling off the bed yet again.   
“oh go fuck a horse-“ i tell him, accepting the clothes he gave me, and starting to head in the bathroom. i turn. “don’t peek.” then, face flushing, i run in the bathroom to change. 

—

fiona’s room is farther in the mansion, and snow’s hand is slippery with sweat in mine. i look over at him, and he seems deathly nervous, the poor bloke. i squeeze his hand, but that only seems to make him more anxious.   
as always, i never knock on fiona’s door, i go right in, pulling snow along with me.   
she looks up, a bored expression on her face. “well well, wouldn’t have put it past you to choose the ‘chosen one’ as your bloke.” she jeers, and simon’s hand tenses in mine. looking over, he seems to be looking at the floor in intense fascination.   
he’s called the ‘chosen one’ because he’s our headmaster’s favorite, nothing special. nowadays, he hates it when people call him that, hence why i call him that all the time. 

—

baz squeezes my hand, and my tension releases. i manage to look fiona pitch in the eye, and give her a smile, that seemed more like a grimace. “of course pitch, i only choose the lowest of the low families to go out with.” i manage, without stuttering.   
fiona didn’t seem like she was expecting that.  
baz squeezes my hand, before telling fiona coolly, “You good? i’m dating him. now leave me and my boyfriend alone.”  
fiona waves a careless hand, and goes back to her book. that was the most anticlimactic thing i’ve ever lived through, and i’ve read and seen a lot of things.   
“did you just call the wellbeloves low families?” baz asks me, back in his room, laughing.   
the heat rises to my face, and i frown at him. “i don’t know what you’re talking about. anyway, how long are we going to fake this?”   
he furrows his eyebrows in concentration, thinking. “not that long. until fiona drops the topic. why do you care?”   
“because i’m the one you’re ‘dating’ anyway- i don’t think it’ll be over anytime soon.” i manage to sound offhand, and casual. 

truthfully?   
i don’t think i want it to be over just yet.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter- hope you enjoyed- if you did, please leave a comment and/or share the fic, it would mean a lot to me <3

i raise my eyebrow at snow, my words coming out harsher than i intended, “what’s that supposed to mean?”

snow flinches slightly, before his face colors and he blusters, “i’m just saying!! if we call it off too soon, you won’t win! and- and-“ he stops, his voice coming out slightly strangled. “and uh- you’re a dick but you’re a good- person-“ he’s nearly mumbling at this point, refusing to look at me.

inhaling deeply, i go around to look at him. “look snow. you worry too much. it’ll be fine.”

“how do you know? what if-“ he breaks off, and looks away. “whatever. just forget it. i’m going back to school.”

“you can’t go by yourself-“ i protest. stay here- stay with me for a little longer. fake it with me for a little longer.

 

—

 

baz walks away from me, and i sigh, standing. i want to stay. i want to stay so badly, but i can’t. i’m being idiotic, and even assuming that baz is thinking what i’m thinking, there’s no way in hell it’ll even happen. i begin to leave, but i feel a pull on my shirt. turning around, i see him, pulling on my shirt. he mouths something, his head ducking so his hair is falling over his face. “baz?” i ask quietly, trying to see his face.

i try and step away again, but his grip only tightens. he whispers, and i can barely make out the words he’s saying.

 

—

 

“don’t leave-“

snow looks down at me, and i panic quietly, thinking i may have said it too loudly. then to my utter embarrassment, i can feel tears welling up inside me. what’s even going on anymore? what the fucking christ is happening to me?

 

—

 

he’s crying now. oh crowley what do i do? he’s supposed to be all proper and posh, and yet this is a version of the arsehole i knew that i’d never seen before. he’s open now- and vulnerable.

i kneel down to look him in the eyes. “what’s wrong?” i ask him quietly, wanting so fucking bad to wipe his tears away.

“fuck snow, i don’t know-“ he manages, giving a dignified sniff. of course he still looks bloody perfect, even when he’s crying.

“okay… um, do you want me to stay?” i ask, the heat rising from my face.

he doesn’t answer.

“baz?”

“bloody hell snow, i don’t know! do i enjoy your half arsed company? yes! do i want you to stay in my house for a little longer, hell yes i do! but i can’t fucking say that without you thinking it means something more than what we’ve got right now! do i want to look at your fucking half blue not really blue pale eyes and your shiny ass messy hair more, yes? i don’t know what’s going on anymore!”

 

—

 

i swallow, snapping my mouth shut. did i just go on a rant about how much i wanted snow, simon snow, to stay here with me? he looks shocked, which is more than i’d hoped for. also i didn’t mean to say any of that shit aloud, it was supposed to stay private. but there, i went and fucked it up with simon snow. mister headmaster’s favorite now knows that i- a grimm-pitch- fancy him. can’t wait for him to scamper off and tell the headmaster now. i look up again, and snow’s face is just bright red.

“you- fancy me.” was all he managed to stammer, looking back at me. “you, basilton grimm-pitch- fancy me?”

i don’t answer that. it wasn’t obvious enough as it is. i didn’t at first, but i couldn’t help the fact that you were always so shiny and gorgeous while i was here being a pit of hell. i can’t believe i fucked this day up so much.

he surprises me by resting his head on my knee.

“no wonder you wanted me to stay.”

“what?”

he looks up, his chin on my knee now, and gives me his famous terrible adorable smile. “i’ll stay. you need someone, and i’ll be the someone you need. on one condition only.”

i can barely focus, with him lighting my entire being on fire. “what- what is it?”

he smiles.

 

—

 

i can’t believe i’m going to say this. “we make this real.”

baz blinks at me. “what?”

“if i stay- you’re not lying to your aunt anymore.” he’s so warm- i can feel his heat through his clothes.

“wh- oh-“ it dawns on him. slowly, color goes to his face, and he covers his mouth. “okay. condition.. accepted-“

i can barely hold back from just tackling him right now. i squeeze his knee, and stand, sitting next to him. “good.” i manage, my grin growing bigger than before.

he winces. “snow you have food in your teeth-“

i cover my mouth self consciously, and leave to the bathroom, embarrassed. as i stand over the sink, examining my teeth, i can’t help but think about the entire scene that just happened. so he was crying because he didn’t want to be alone, or because his feelings were that overwhelming? i didn’t think that anyone could think of me so strongly before.

come to think of it, i’ve always thought about baz more than anyone else, even when i was with my ex girlfriend. he was always my first priority, and i never really realized it. until now- where him and his perfect self will always be first for me.

baz.

mister snow white

with his perfect hair and perfect face and being perfectly fit with his perfect voice.

everything about him is so perfectly perfect.

and for the first time, it didn’t feel annoying anymore.

just sorta.. endearing, in a weird way.

 

—

 

when snow returned from the bathroom, i laid face up in my bed, which i had smushed back together. hint hint.

not like the hint would work. snow was the densest man in britain.

of course, when i think he won’t notice, he does. he turns tomato red, clears his throat, and goes to sit next to me, trying to act inconspicuous.

“you’re terrible at keeping a straight face.” i tell him, moving over so we both fit on the bed, his head in my lap somehow.

he shrugs. “why would i need to keep things secret?” he asks, his eyes closing as i run my hands through his hair. “that feels nice-“

i give a small snort. “you’re right. we shouldn’t keep secrets. like, i could tell you how much i want to snog you right now, but-“

his eyes open suddenly and he sits up. “what-“

“you heard me.” i smirk gently. “first kiss snow?”

he snorts. “you wish.”

and just as i’m about to kiss him, he startles me, and kisses me first.

 

—

 

i’ve never kissed a boy before. i’ve only ever kissed agatha, my ex, and with her, it was more just pecks. with baz, a simple kiss turned into a full out snog, neither of us wanting to pull away anytime soon.

 

**_end_ **


End file.
